Ch. 12 Forms of Deception

Deception can be a negative aspect throughout communication. Deception is the knowing and intentional transmission of information to create a false belief. This usually happens within a relationship and can lead to betrayal and even distrust with the friend or significant other. There are four different forms of deception that people may use. The first way that a person may decieve you is a lie through falsification. Falsification is the use of presenting false information as though it were true. My friend and I went to a movie and she thought it was the best movie she has ever seen. She asked me what I thought about it and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I told her I loved it even though I didn't really care for it. The second form of deception is the use of exaggeration. Exaggeration is when a person overstates the facts. When at a job interview and your future employer asks you about your qualifications, you may embelish your strengths. You are telling the truth when you say what you are good at, but you may make them sound better than they actually are. The third form of deception is by omission. Omission is when a person leaves out important information to create a different impression. People in sales and advertising can be very deceptive by using this technique. The final type of deception is equivocation. Equivocation involves giving very short and vague answers that don't give a lot of information and create a false identity. You go to a movie and then your friend asks you how the movie was. You reply by saying "the newspaper gave it a good rating," but you really didn't like it. Your friend takes it as it was a good movie, but that was never clearly said. Deception can be found in are everyday communication in many different forms.

Ch. 11 Characteristics of Power

We all like the feeling of being powerful, but power can also come with a high risk of creating conflict. Conflict usually occurs when people are going through a power struggle between each other. There are many different characteristics, but lets first really understand what having power means. Power is the ability to control people or certain situations. The first characteristic of power is that power is context- specific. For example, your teacher has power over you to tell you to do your homework or a test, but they can not come to your house and tell you to clean your house. Same with your boss, they have the power over you at work but once you clock out it's a different story. The second characteristic is that power is always present. Power is always present in relationships, but it's just in different forms. In a symmetrical relationship, the power is evenly distributed between close friends. In a complementary relationship, one person has more power than the other individual who is involved. An example of this relationship is between a boss and an employee. Parents and children start out as a complementary relationship but as the children get older it becomes more symmetrical. Another characteristic is the fact that power influences communication. A one- up message is used when someone trys to claim dominance and control over the relationship. Usually the person will make commands such as "do the dishes" or "finish your homework." A one-down message is used when a person accepts another person's decision. Some statements they may say are "whatever you'd like to do is fine with me" or "what would you like to do today?" One-across message is used in a dominant or submissive situation. The fourth characteristic is that power can be positive or negative. It becomes positive or negative depending on how the indivduals use their power. When one person in the relationship abuses their power it can create tension between the individuals. This happened with one of my best friends. She thought that she had all of the power in our friendship and decided everything involved within our friendship. Needless to say, our friendship is no longer and it ended on a bad note. Finally, power and conflict influence each other. As I said before, conflict usually occurs because of a power struggle between individuals. My brother and I used to fight all the time whe we were younger because he would always get to sit in the front seat when we would go somewhere so I would always try to beat him to the front seat before he got there.

Ch. 10 Communication Issues in Families

Communication is a huge part of keeping relationships strong, especially family relationships. There are four main issues with communication that families commonly have to deal with. The first communication issue is family roles. Each person within the family plays a role throughout the family system. These roles vary for each family and are based on the emotional and social functions each individual has on the family. In my family my dad is the family jokester. He always uses jokes to make a situation better and he thinks he's the funniest person you could ever meet. My mom is the family peacemaker. Whenever my brother and I get into a fight she usually steps in to diffuse the situation. My brother would definately be the blammer and I think I would be the placater. The second communication issue is family rituals. Rituals are repetitive activites that have special meaning to whom it affects. Every year my family and I go to a motorcycle race in Indianapolis. This is the one day a year that really brings us close together because we all enjoy going to the race and spending time together on something we love. The third issue with communication in families is family stories. Family stories can help connect different generations by sharing some personal battles that the person may have had to overcome. Family stories can also bring back memories and remind them of their history. My grandparents usually like to tell stories about how life was a whole lot different when they were younger and they also like to tell stories about what my mom and dad would do when they were my age. The final issue with communication in families is family secrets. Some secrets that should be kept confidential are things like health issues, family conflicts, financial information and religous practices. In my family I don't think we really have any secrets and I think that is why we are such a close knit family. I love my family and even though they get under my skin sometimes, I wouldn't trade them for anyone else in the world!

Ch. 10 Relationship Development

Relationships are not something that can be built in a day, nor can they be destroyed in one. Professor Mark Knapp came up with the idea that relationships grow over time and have different stages of progression. Relationships go through five stages before they are fully developed. The first stage is the initiating stage. This is when you meet a person for the first time and you begin to interact with them. This could be when you make eye contact with the person and start to talk to them or you could be sitting next to them and initiate a conversation. The second stage is the experimenting stage. This is when you begin to ask the person some personal questions to see if you have anything in common. Some questions you could ask would be "what do you do for fun?" or "what's your favorite type of music?" So you can get an idea of what they are interested in. The third stage of forming a relationship is the intensifying stage. This is the stage when you begin to be close friends. You start to hang out with them more often and you may meet each other's friends. The person may also express to you their feelings on life, fears they may have, and even their future. The  fourth stage is the integrating stage. This stage is when you begin to share a deep commitment and see yourselves as a couple. This is the stage where you "define the relationship." The final stage of the relationship is the bonding stage. This stage is when the couple makes it publicly known that they are an item. This could include moving in with each other, getting engaged, or even getting married.

Ch. 9 Maintaining Relationships

There are five main behaviors we use to maintain our relationships. Woody and Buzz are a great example on how we should maintain our friendship. They are always making each other laugh and they would go to the ends of the earth to help each other out. The first behavior we could use to maintain our our friendship is positivity. Positivity is a characteristic that makes others feel comfortable to be around us and makes them enjoy our company. This includes being friendly, polite, cracking jokes and refraining from being negative or rude. Positivity is a characteristic that makes people popular with everyone. One of my good friends was just like this. She was always so much fun to be around because she was always smiling, laughing and being very genuine. The second behavior for relationships to be stable is openess. This is when your friend is willing to share their thoughts and feelings to the other person. Another behavior is assurances. This is a characteristic used when you are showing your commitment to the relationship with your friend. When your friends asks you to help them with something such as moving you say "of course I'll help!" This shows that you are willing to help your friend our whenever and you are commited to being their friend. Another behavior we portray is the social networks. This is when we introduce our friends to our other friends as well as our family members. I think this is one of the most important characteristics we need to maintain our friendships. When I first became friends with my best friend I met all of her family. Now I am just as close with her family as I am with her. The final behavior we use to maintain our friendships is sharing tasks. This is when we put forth just as much work into the friendship as our friends do. Whenever your friend helps you out it is known that you will do the same for them whenever they need it.

Ch. 6 Channels of Nonverbal Communication

One of the ten channels of nonverbal communication is movement and gestures. From this picture you can see that just from the way these celebrities are standing and their gestures they are feeling confident. Everyone uses body movements to communicate messages, even people who are born blind. When you feel happy and confident, you walk with perfect posture and your head held high. When you feel scared and nervous, you are kinda slouched over and stare down at the ground. On my first day of school I was very nervous in my new surroundings and was walking timidly, but now I feel a lot more confident and walk with consistent strides. We also use harm and hand gestures when we communicate to get our message across. My mom does this a lot! Almost everything she says she has to use her hands to illustrate her words. I actually don't mind it though because it makes me pay attention to what she's saying and understand it better. Our gestures are divided into five different types. The first type of gesture is an emblem. Emblems are gestures that translate what you are actually trying to say. By lifting your hand to signal a stop or waving your hand to say hello or goodbye, you are showing an example of an emblem. A second type of gesture is an illustrator. An illustator is a gesture used to clarify the message. When you use your hands to describe your words you help clarify the message you are trying to send to your reciever. Another type of gesture is an affect display. These gestures communicate emotion such as covering your mouth to show you are surprised. Regulators are another type of gesture that allow for a conversation to flow. When raising your hand to speak you are displaying an example of a regulator. The final type of gesture is an adaptor that is used to satisfy a need. When we do behaviors such as picking a hair off of someones shirt or scratching an itch we are fulfilling needs. Movements and gestures are very important in our communication because they help send the message to our reciever and help them better understand what we are trying to say. If we didn't use gestures or movements the message could be misleading and it may be difficult for them to comprehend what we are saying.

Ch. 6 Five Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communiation is a crucial part to our everyday communication. Body language is a type of nonverbal communication that can help get out message across to whom ever we are trying to communicate with. There are five characteristics to nonverbal communication. The first characteristic is the use of nonverbal communication in almost all of our personal conversations. Whether you are talking to your best friend or your boss, you can easily tell how they are feeling just by the tone of their voice, how fast they are speaking and even by their facial expressions. We can even get a sense of the person's nonverbal use when we are talking to them on the phone, texting and emailing. When talking to my mom on the phone I can always tell when she is mad at me just by the pitch and tone she uses when she talks. Likewise, I can always tell when she is trying to be sarcastic because she will use a ; ) wink when she texts me. The second characteristic is the fact that nonverbal communication usually releases more information than the actual words themselves. Our appearance, facial expressions,  gestures, tone and pitch of our voice are all ways that we communicate nonverbally. The third characteristic is that we usually believe someone's nonverbal before we believe the words they are saying. My best friend was very good at sending conflicting messages because I could ask her how she was doing and she would sigh, roll her eyes and she was just fantastic. The fourth characteristic of nonverbal communication is the use of communicating emotion. We can usually tell how someone is feeling just by looking at their facial expressions. When watching an interview on tv or a reality show such as American Idol, the cameraman always shows close ups to get the reactions of the contestants. For instance, when they are down to the bottom three on American Idol and deciding who is going home and at those critical moments they show the person's reaction to capture their emotions. The final characteristic of nonverbal communication is that it metacommunicates the original message. When someone pulls closer to you and whispers information, this sends the message that it is meant to be kept confidential and not to tell anyone else the secret.