Ch. 11 Characteristics of Power

We all like the feeling of being powerful, but power can also come with a high risk of creating conflict. Conflict usually occurs when people are going through a power struggle between each other. There are many different characteristics, but lets first really understand what having power means. Power is the ability to control people or certain situations. The first characteristic of power is that power is context- specific. For example, your teacher has power over you to tell you to do your homework or a test, but they can not come to your house and tell you to clean your house. Same with your boss, they have the power over you at work but once you clock out it's a different story. The second characteristic is that power is always present. Power is always present in relationships, but it's just in different forms. In a symmetrical relationship, the power is evenly distributed between close friends. In a complementary relationship, one person has more power than the other individual who is involved. An example of this relationship is between a boss and an employee. Parents and children start out as a complementary relationship but as the children get older it becomes more symmetrical. Another characteristic is the fact that power influences communication. A one- up message is used when someone trys to claim dominance and control over the relationship. Usually the person will make commands such as "do the dishes" or "finish your homework." A one-down message is used when a person accepts another person's decision. Some statements they may say are "whatever you'd like to do is fine with me" or "what would you like to do today?" One-across message is used in a dominant or submissive situation. The fourth characteristic is that power can be positive or negative. It becomes positive or negative depending on how the indivduals use their power. When one person in the relationship abuses their power it can create tension between the individuals. This happened with one of my best friends. She thought that she had all of the power in our friendship and decided everything involved within our friendship. Needless to say, our friendship is no longer and it ended on a bad note. Finally, power and conflict influence each other. As I said before, conflict usually occurs because of a power struggle between individuals. My brother and I used to fight all the time whe we were younger because he would always get to sit in the front seat when we would go somewhere so I would always try to beat him to the front seat before he got there.