Ch. 12 Forms of Deception

Deception can be a negative aspect throughout communication. Deception is the knowing and intentional transmission of information to create a false belief. This usually happens within a relationship and can lead to betrayal and even distrust with the friend or significant other. There are four different forms of deception that people may use. The first way that a person may decieve you is a lie through falsification. Falsification is the use of presenting false information as though it were true. My friend and I went to a movie and she thought it was the best movie she has ever seen. She asked me what I thought about it and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I told her I loved it even though I didn't really care for it. The second form of deception is the use of exaggeration. Exaggeration is when a person overstates the facts. When at a job interview and your future employer asks you about your qualifications, you may embelish your strengths. You are telling the truth when you say what you are good at, but you may make them sound better than they actually are. The third form of deception is by omission. Omission is when a person leaves out important information to create a different impression. People in sales and advertising can be very deceptive by using this technique. The final type of deception is equivocation. Equivocation involves giving very short and vague answers that don't give a lot of information and create a false identity. You go to a movie and then your friend asks you how the movie was. You reply by saying "the newspaper gave it a good rating," but you really didn't like it. Your friend takes it as it was a good movie, but that was never clearly said. Deception can be found in are everyday communication in many different forms.

Ch. 11 Characteristics of Power

We all like the feeling of being powerful, but power can also come with a high risk of creating conflict. Conflict usually occurs when people are going through a power struggle between each other. There are many different characteristics, but lets first really understand what having power means. Power is the ability to control people or certain situations. The first characteristic of power is that power is context- specific. For example, your teacher has power over you to tell you to do your homework or a test, but they can not come to your house and tell you to clean your house. Same with your boss, they have the power over you at work but once you clock out it's a different story. The second characteristic is that power is always present. Power is always present in relationships, but it's just in different forms. In a symmetrical relationship, the power is evenly distributed between close friends. In a complementary relationship, one person has more power than the other individual who is involved. An example of this relationship is between a boss and an employee. Parents and children start out as a complementary relationship but as the children get older it becomes more symmetrical. Another characteristic is the fact that power influences communication. A one- up message is used when someone trys to claim dominance and control over the relationship. Usually the person will make commands such as "do the dishes" or "finish your homework." A one-down message is used when a person accepts another person's decision. Some statements they may say are "whatever you'd like to do is fine with me" or "what would you like to do today?" One-across message is used in a dominant or submissive situation. The fourth characteristic is that power can be positive or negative. It becomes positive or negative depending on how the indivduals use their power. When one person in the relationship abuses their power it can create tension between the individuals. This happened with one of my best friends. She thought that she had all of the power in our friendship and decided everything involved within our friendship. Needless to say, our friendship is no longer and it ended on a bad note. Finally, power and conflict influence each other. As I said before, conflict usually occurs because of a power struggle between individuals. My brother and I used to fight all the time whe we were younger because he would always get to sit in the front seat when we would go somewhere so I would always try to beat him to the front seat before he got there.

Ch. 10 Communication Issues in Families

Communication is a huge part of keeping relationships strong, especially family relationships. There are four main issues with communication that families commonly have to deal with. The first communication issue is family roles. Each person within the family plays a role throughout the family system. These roles vary for each family and are based on the emotional and social functions each individual has on the family. In my family my dad is the family jokester. He always uses jokes to make a situation better and he thinks he's the funniest person you could ever meet. My mom is the family peacemaker. Whenever my brother and I get into a fight she usually steps in to diffuse the situation. My brother would definately be the blammer and I think I would be the placater. The second communication issue is family rituals. Rituals are repetitive activites that have special meaning to whom it affects. Every year my family and I go to a motorcycle race in Indianapolis. This is the one day a year that really brings us close together because we all enjoy going to the race and spending time together on something we love. The third issue with communication in families is family stories. Family stories can help connect different generations by sharing some personal battles that the person may have had to overcome. Family stories can also bring back memories and remind them of their history. My grandparents usually like to tell stories about how life was a whole lot different when they were younger and they also like to tell stories about what my mom and dad would do when they were my age. The final issue with communication in families is family secrets. Some secrets that should be kept confidential are things like health issues, family conflicts, financial information and religous practices. In my family I don't think we really have any secrets and I think that is why we are such a close knit family. I love my family and even though they get under my skin sometimes, I wouldn't trade them for anyone else in the world!

Ch. 10 Relationship Development

Relationships are not something that can be built in a day, nor can they be destroyed in one. Professor Mark Knapp came up with the idea that relationships grow over time and have different stages of progression. Relationships go through five stages before they are fully developed. The first stage is the initiating stage. This is when you meet a person for the first time and you begin to interact with them. This could be when you make eye contact with the person and start to talk to them or you could be sitting next to them and initiate a conversation. The second stage is the experimenting stage. This is when you begin to ask the person some personal questions to see if you have anything in common. Some questions you could ask would be "what do you do for fun?" or "what's your favorite type of music?" So you can get an idea of what they are interested in. The third stage of forming a relationship is the intensifying stage. This is the stage when you begin to be close friends. You start to hang out with them more often and you may meet each other's friends. The person may also express to you their feelings on life, fears they may have, and even their future. The  fourth stage is the integrating stage. This stage is when you begin to share a deep commitment and see yourselves as a couple. This is the stage where you "define the relationship." The final stage of the relationship is the bonding stage. This stage is when the couple makes it publicly known that they are an item. This could include moving in with each other, getting engaged, or even getting married.

Ch. 9 Maintaining Relationships

There are five main behaviors we use to maintain our relationships. Woody and Buzz are a great example on how we should maintain our friendship. They are always making each other laugh and they would go to the ends of the earth to help each other out. The first behavior we could use to maintain our our friendship is positivity. Positivity is a characteristic that makes others feel comfortable to be around us and makes them enjoy our company. This includes being friendly, polite, cracking jokes and refraining from being negative or rude. Positivity is a characteristic that makes people popular with everyone. One of my good friends was just like this. She was always so much fun to be around because she was always smiling, laughing and being very genuine. The second behavior for relationships to be stable is openess. This is when your friend is willing to share their thoughts and feelings to the other person. Another behavior is assurances. This is a characteristic used when you are showing your commitment to the relationship with your friend. When your friends asks you to help them with something such as moving you say "of course I'll help!" This shows that you are willing to help your friend our whenever and you are commited to being their friend. Another behavior we portray is the social networks. This is when we introduce our friends to our other friends as well as our family members. I think this is one of the most important characteristics we need to maintain our friendships. When I first became friends with my best friend I met all of her family. Now I am just as close with her family as I am with her. The final behavior we use to maintain our friendships is sharing tasks. This is when we put forth just as much work into the friendship as our friends do. Whenever your friend helps you out it is known that you will do the same for them whenever they need it.

Ch. 6 Channels of Nonverbal Communication

One of the ten channels of nonverbal communication is movement and gestures. From this picture you can see that just from the way these celebrities are standing and their gestures they are feeling confident. Everyone uses body movements to communicate messages, even people who are born blind. When you feel happy and confident, you walk with perfect posture and your head held high. When you feel scared and nervous, you are kinda slouched over and stare down at the ground. On my first day of school I was very nervous in my new surroundings and was walking timidly, but now I feel a lot more confident and walk with consistent strides. We also use harm and hand gestures when we communicate to get our message across. My mom does this a lot! Almost everything she says she has to use her hands to illustrate her words. I actually don't mind it though because it makes me pay attention to what she's saying and understand it better. Our gestures are divided into five different types. The first type of gesture is an emblem. Emblems are gestures that translate what you are actually trying to say. By lifting your hand to signal a stop or waving your hand to say hello or goodbye, you are showing an example of an emblem. A second type of gesture is an illustrator. An illustator is a gesture used to clarify the message. When you use your hands to describe your words you help clarify the message you are trying to send to your reciever. Another type of gesture is an affect display. These gestures communicate emotion such as covering your mouth to show you are surprised. Regulators are another type of gesture that allow for a conversation to flow. When raising your hand to speak you are displaying an example of a regulator. The final type of gesture is an adaptor that is used to satisfy a need. When we do behaviors such as picking a hair off of someones shirt or scratching an itch we are fulfilling needs. Movements and gestures are very important in our communication because they help send the message to our reciever and help them better understand what we are trying to say. If we didn't use gestures or movements the message could be misleading and it may be difficult for them to comprehend what we are saying.

Ch. 6 Five Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communiation is a crucial part to our everyday communication. Body language is a type of nonverbal communication that can help get out message across to whom ever we are trying to communicate with. There are five characteristics to nonverbal communication. The first characteristic is the use of nonverbal communication in almost all of our personal conversations. Whether you are talking to your best friend or your boss, you can easily tell how they are feeling just by the tone of their voice, how fast they are speaking and even by their facial expressions. We can even get a sense of the person's nonverbal use when we are talking to them on the phone, texting and emailing. When talking to my mom on the phone I can always tell when she is mad at me just by the pitch and tone she uses when she talks. Likewise, I can always tell when she is trying to be sarcastic because she will use a ; ) wink when she texts me. The second characteristic is the fact that nonverbal communication usually releases more information than the actual words themselves. Our appearance, facial expressions,  gestures, tone and pitch of our voice are all ways that we communicate nonverbally. The third characteristic is that we usually believe someone's nonverbal before we believe the words they are saying. My best friend was very good at sending conflicting messages because I could ask her how she was doing and she would sigh, roll her eyes and she was just fantastic. The fourth characteristic of nonverbal communication is the use of communicating emotion. We can usually tell how someone is feeling just by looking at their facial expressions. When watching an interview on tv or a reality show such as American Idol, the cameraman always shows close ups to get the reactions of the contestants. For instance, when they are down to the bottom three on American Idol and deciding who is going home and at those critical moments they show the person's reaction to capture their emotions. The final characteristic of nonverbal communication is that it metacommunicates the original message. When someone pulls closer to you and whispers information, this sends the message that it is meant to be kept confidential and not to tell anyone else the secret.

Ch. 5 Gossip

It doesn't matter if we want to admit to it or not, deep down we all love gossip. Whether or not we are the ones who are spilling the beans or hearing it through the grapevine, gossip helps bring drama and excitement to our lives. Gossip is the sharing of personal information without the consent of the individual. Gossip is everywhere! We even have shows on television now that only play the latest celebrity gossip. One of my favorite gossip shows to watch is E news. I don't know what it is about the show but it's very intriguing and I can't get enough of it! I guess it's probably partially because I have a pretty boring life and I need to know the latest celebrity break-ups, pregnancies, drug and alcohol relapses and a lot more. Besides television shows, gossip is all over the media including magazines, radio stations and even the Internet. This type of gossip isn't very harmful to the average person but when we start to gossip about someone we know or when someone gossips about us it starts to get a little complicated. Something that could start out as a harmful prank could get blown out of proportion and turn into a big mess. Thankfully something like this hasn't happened to me but some of my friends from high school weren't so lucky. A girl from my high school spread a rumor about her friend that she was pregnant. Within a couple of days it seemed like everyone had found out and the story was so exaggerated and far from the truth. Gossip may provide us with a little excitement knowing that we are one of the only people who knows a secret. It can keep us up to date on the latest celebrity news and provide us with some excitement to our own lives. Gossip also has its downfall but we all can't get enough of it one way or another.

Ch. 4 Stereotypes

In this last blog of our assignment I will be discussing what a stereotype is and how it affects our everyday lives.

Before telling you some instances where I have been stereotyped, first we need to understand just what it really means to be stereotyped. Stereotyping is a term used when generalizations are made to a person who is found within a certain group. Race and gender are two of the main stereotypes that there are. In high schools everywhere labels are constantly being used. Jocks, nerds, stoners, cheerleaders, and band geeks are just a few examples. One general stereotype is against women. Many think that women could never be as fast, strong or smart as men. There also is a stereotype that all women can't drive. There are also a couple of other stereotypes I have personally been categorized into. I live in a very small town where you pretty much know everybody and everything you could possibly need to know about them. Nothing can be kept a secret and gossip spreads like wildfire. My hometown is very low key and surrounded by cornfields. Whenever someone asks where I live and I tell them they automatically assume that we are all rednecks. People also assume that we are all illiterate and technologically challenged. There is also another stereotype that I have encountered. I used to get blonde highlights in my hair and one time I dyed all of my hair blonde. My brother and the rest of my family used to joke that after dying my hair my IQ instantly dropped and I became a dumb blonde. They would talk down to me like I had no idea what they were talking about and it got to the point where I had to dye it back to all brown. Stereotypes can be a compliment but most are just general statements made about a group that really doesn't describe the individuals within the group.

Ch.3 Benefits and Risks of Self disclosure

In this blog I'll be talking about self-disclosure. More specifically I will be discussing the advantages and disadvantages of self- disclosure, along with sharing some examples from my own life.

Before explaining the risks and benefits of self-disclosure we must first understand what self-disclosure is. Self disclosure is the act of giving other people information about ourselves that they don't already know. An example of self-discloure would be in one scene from The Breakfast Club when all the kids are sitting around in the library sharing personal information about themselves. There are four main benefits of self- disclosure. The first one is the enhancement of relationships. By disclosing information to our close family and friends we can make our relationships stronger. When I first met one of my friends I never told her I loved to bowl. Once I told her, she said she loved to bowl as well and it made us have a closer friendship because of it. The second benefit is recprocity. When we share something personal with our friends and family they also feel like they can let their guard down and share something as well. The third benefit of self-disclosure is emotional release. When we share a confession to our family we can instantly feel relieved. A couple years ago I was painting my nails in my room with a bright teal color. I am very clumsy and usually end up spilling everything. As you can guess I spilled the nail polish everywhere and it splattered all over my carpet. My mom tried to help me but it wasn't coming out of the carpet. I didn't tell my dad because I know he would freak if he saw it. After a couple of weeks I felt really guilty and got a little paranoid that he would find out, so I told him. He was super angry but I felt so much better after telling him. The final benefit to self-disclosure is assistance to others. If someone you know is going through a rough patch in their life you can tell them how to help deal with it. When my friends grandma died I told her about the time when my grandma died and how I was able to deal with it. I feel like by us both losing a family member I think it really helped my friend cope. With the advantages also comes the disadvantages of self-disclosure. One risk is the fact of being rejected by the person to whom you are confiding to. The second risk is the chance of obligating others. By telling something to one of your friends they may feel like they have to tell you something very personal to them. A third risk to self-disclosure is the possibility of hurting others. If someone asks you something personal to them and you don't want to hurt their feelings you may lie to them or have to tell them the truth. My best friend starting dating this one guy who was really clingy and never let her hang out with her friends. She asked me what I thought of him and I could tell that she really liked him so I decided not to hurt her feelings so I told her he seemed liked a nice guy and she had my approval. The final risk of self-disclosure is the violation of someones privacy. When you tell something personal to a friend someone else could overhear and begin to spread rumors about that person. Something like this has luckily never happened to me but in my high school it seemed like it was always happening some poor girl and the truth was always getting twisted around.

Ch. 2- low context v. high context

Hey everyone! This is my second blog for this project and I will be discussing a type of culture we learned in chapter two. More specifically, I would like to discuss the uncertainty avoidance aspect of culture. I will also be sharing how I would communicate when talking with the other type of culture. Hope you like it and can maybe share some input!

The type of culture I would like to discuss is uncertainty avoidance. Highly uncertainty avoidant people like familiar situations and are very unlikely to take risks in their life. On the contrary, people who are part of uncertainty accepting cultures love the fast paced lifestyle and are open to new situations and possibilities. For me I feel that I am a highly uncertainty avoidant person. I am very resistant to change and become very stressed when I am put in an uncomfortable position that I don't know what the outcome will be. For example, at the beginning of my senior year I was excited to think that I might go away to college with all of my friends down at ISU or Purdue. After thinking about it I was petrified of the thought of moving to a new area where I didn't know my surroundings or what could possibly happen in the future. By going to college close to my house I felt very comfortable knowing pretty much everything was going to stay the same and I wasn't going to put myself into an unpredictable situation. All of my friends still ended up moving away and they couldn't understand why I chose to stay home.

I think there are a couple of ways I could improve my communication with the other type of culture. First I think I would try and understand where they are coming from and see why their opinion differs from my own. Then I would explain my position to them so they could try to understand my uncertainty and fears. By using these methods I feel that maybe my friends will be able to see why I decided to stay home instead of going away to college.

Ch. 1- 5 needs

Hello everyone! My name is Carly and this is my first blog ever. In this first blog I will be talking about the five communication needs and how they have impacted my life. Enjoy!

The first need I would like to talk to you about is physical needs. This need helps us keep balance in our mental and physical well-being. By having a closeknit family and being able to tell your friends anything, this can promote a healthy lifestyle both physically and emotionally. I read somewhere that there is a major difference between a child who had a stable environment with a lot of love and care and a child who has to basically take care of themselves. In my family we are very close and we are always communicating. Every week my whole family has dinner on Sundays at my grandparents. It's nice when we can all get together and this just makes our relationship that much stronger.

The second need we develop is the relational need. Just as it sounds this need helps us to build our personal relationships. There are many places where we can take advantage of interacting with other people such as school, work, sports events and many others. Even our advances in technology have made social interactions easier. Take this blog for example. This is enabling me to talk to my peers and get feedback. Personal relationships are key in our everday lives and with the help of Facebook, Skype and the Internet in general we are constantly keeping in contact with one another.

Another need we develop through communication is an identity need. This helps us see how we view ourselves as well as how other people view us. By communicating with others our personality will shine through and everyone will be able to get a sense of what distinguishes us from others. In high school I was in a couple of sports and clubs which helped me not only get a sense of what I love to do but also be able to share common ground with my friends in school.

The fourth need we have is spiritual need. This coincides with our identity because we express ourselves through our morals and values. By sharing our beliefs we can see other peoples opinions and maybe share the same values in life with someone who could become a close friend or even a future spouse.

The final need we develop is an instrumental need. These are the day to day tasks that we go through. These tasks could be as simple as ordering food at a drive through or as intricate as giving a speech in class. All of these needs are very functional and our necessary for our life whether they are short term or long term. Communication is inevitable and is one of the ways that people can express their beliefs and  the various characteristics that they portray.